Pilgrim Lost

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What I Know Now

I am arriving in Santiago day after tomorrow. I realized a few days ago that I will be finishing this Camino in exactly the same amount of time as Lissa and I walked the first one … 40 days.

40 days.

This journey has been very different than the last one. From a physical standpoint I have rested significantly more and walked less. I am trying to process exactly how it has been different emotionally and in trying to communicate it with you I falter…

So here is a list of things that I know now better about myself. I might have thought I believed these things before. But now, I know them deeper. In my gut. Where it counts.

I can walk alone.
I know the value of good conversation and community in a deeper way.
I don’t have to rush to keep up with anyone.
I am strong. My body is able.
I know my physical abilities and how much time it takes me to walk 15, 20 and 30 kilometers so I can relax and enjoy the day and all that it brings.
I can connect with anyone, regardless of age or gender and that these connections are gifts.
These gifts are wisdom, compassion, love, new perspectives … when I am humble and prepared to receive.
I am an artist. I am a creative being and I love sharing my art. Even when I struggle to create, I am an artist.
I can eat a lot of pastries when I am walking 8 hours a day.
I am ready for what’s next, even though I don’t know what it is.
I am The Beloved. I can trust God’s voice. He will guide me. He will provide for me. He always has better plans for me than I had planned myself.

I am a hopeless wanderer.
I am a pilgrim.