A Guide for Taking a Teenager on a Camino-like Trek
When I travel about and talk about long-distance trekking (often 15-25 miles a day of walking), I am often asked two questions. The first is: "Could someone like me walk the Camino?" (and the answer is, I am always amazed that humans have another gear they are not even aware of.) The second question is a bit more surprising: "Could I take my child with me on the Camino?" This one always stumps me, because I have not had that exact experience.
On our last podcast, Kari and I had a chance to interview Michael Turner from the inspirational documentary, "I'll Push You." Michael took his teenage son, Matthew, with him to Spain. I asked him the following questions about that decision-making process and the impact.
I hope you enjoy...
Michael, you took your son Matthew on the Camino de Santiago. First of all, tell us about the timeline or your trip: when did you decide to go, how long did you prepare, how long did it take you to travel to meet up with Justin and Patrick and how many days did you walk, and how far, etc.?
We decided to go about 6 – 9 months before the trip occurred – so around the holidays of 2013. It began as a casual conversation of ‘what if’ with Patrick and Justin and then evolved into a planning process as any pilgrim would do – albeit our time would be 2 days in Madrid, 8 days on the Camino, 5 in London – a total of 16 days in total.
After two days in Madrid, we were scheduled to take a train to join Patrick and Justin. We had a window of two towns to meet up with them – either Sarria or Triacastella and had planned for the latter. But Matthew and I were excited and Patrick and Justin were 1 day behind where expected. We didn’t want to wait – so we exited the train 1 stop before Sarria and caught a train going east for a few miles for 1 stop – then we grabbed a car to meet up with them in Villafranca de Bierzo. Our trip went from about 95 miles and 7 days to about 112 miles in 8 days – but that one extra day was 17.3 miles and O’Cebriero.
Why did you want to take your son?
I had read a book about ‘raising a modern day knight’ with concepts of making strong milestones for preparing and, perhaps more importantly, telling him he was prepared for his next step. I believe It’s a parent’s role to really instill not only skills and capabilities but a confidence saying “I support you – you are ready!”
Additionally – both of my sons have a low vision condition called ocular albinism. This genetic condition means they see about 20/200, and the ability to make corrections to his vision is limited as this is a rods and cone processing issue instead of a lens issue. So he is considered ‘legally blind’.
My wonderful wife Julie and I have challenged our children to overcome what some may accept as limits, and I saw this trip as an opportunity to do that. He could go witness Justin overcome limits by being the first person that we’re aware of to complete the Camino in a wheelchair. Then he could practice another by overcoming his limitations: navigating himself with me through all 7 airports on the trip, navigating several London tourist attractions, the Tube and all other forms of transit. I wanted him to be confident to travel on his own!
And he’s done great – from going to school in Boston, to living for school and internships in Madrid and Tel Aviv – I’ve been amazed at how much he loves to travel.
And my other son – Andrew – is so skilled as well! He’s studying Video production at Montana State and has an outstanding eye for art and video! He has the best sense of humor in the family and is definitely the most adventurous.
Why did you think Matthew was ready for an experience like the Camino? Did you look for "signs" in him and if so what were they?
It was more of a time in life and being almost 16. The freedom and opportunity to become his own person is really important at these times in life – beginning to be ready and confident on going on his own.
Do you have any thoughts on what age is too young or what distance is too far?
It’s really hard to say – much like being an adult on the Camino – it’s different for every person. Matthew was a cross country runner and competed over an exceptional amount of miles – so was confident that he would make this distance and time well. Maybe that’s the key – spend time assessing a young person’s capability by doing some hikes and walks in your town. One thing's for sure – the attention span and appetite for the journey may be more important than the physical strain.
Also – do not forget that it’s a journey of the mind as well as the body. For our 8 days, Matthew was engaged within a group of people, in his own thoughts, and with the letters I read to him about ‘becoming a man’ and ‘Matthew’s strengths’.
What was the biggest difference between walking the Camino with your son and other father/son experiences you have had?
We’ve done some hiking and backpacking and family trips, but this one was different because it was just he and me. Our family experiences typically have all four of us as we like the family backpacking and adventures. So there was more time for just him and me. Also – the experience of something that was new to both of us was incredible. And the experience to be around other pilgrims that neither of us knew was also different.
When you look back 20 years from now, what will you remember most and what role will the Camino play in your story with your son?
Take the opportunity to build relationships! My time on the Camino provided a fantastic opportunity to invest in him and experience something that you don’t do everyday. And that’s something you can do every day wherever you are.
What would Matthew say was the impact of the experience?
Matthew loved the chance to be a part of the story, the chance to become Matthew the pilgrim vs. michael’s son. It’s definitely lifted his confidence in himself and his ability to travel.
What were your biggest takeaways from walking the Camino?
For me – it was about enjoying moments. I know I always tell you – your comments of “Enjoying the Beauty of the mundane” and “Life in Hopeful Motion” are ways that I need to encompass more often. When I stop and think about “How do I want to show up today?” I am more effective AND life is more enjoyable. I did some simplification in my life this past 5 years that is enabling me to have margin to invest in others more with my time and resources. Ultimately, I’m trying to make sure I have a priority on asking others about their story.
How have you and Matthew brought the lessons of your Camino experience back into your everyday lives?
It serves as a way for us to bring that shared experience back into our lives: things we’ve done together, things we’ve lived together, stories to help us realize that those around us are broken and beautiful and valuable.